Words

Words. Easy to write but sometimes impossible to say. So writing will be my way to speak them.

I have so much to say but can never seem to find the words to say what I need. What makes it harder is I can see the words. All of them. I cannot explain how I feel because I do not know and I hate how I can't figure that out.

I am everywhere, moving at a million miles per hour and slowing down would be a great benefit to me. But I do not know how to put on the brakes, they are broken. I keep moving so I don't have to focus on what is blurring by my face and in hopes that I can ignore what is really going on around me. The downfall of this is the fact that I am letting a lot of nice things fly by and not stopping to appreciate them. I may not stop and take my time to fully soak in everything but I do see everything.

I see the way things work and the way things change. Something I have learned that has really forced

me to think differently is the story that the look in someone's eyes can tell you. You can see when someone is upset, when someone is happy, and when someone is feeling. My eyes could tell you more than you could ever want to know. But only if it was that easy, unfortunately it's not. I see the hurt, I see the disappointment and it kills me. Not the type of eyes I like to see. I want dilated pupils glistening in the light not the look that stares back at me or the eyes that dart away from mine.

I wish I knew how to fix that. I wish that was something I knew how to change. But that isn't something we are taught in school. It is something we learn in this thing called life and life will never be easy.

But the moral of this story is I have the words to say. I just don't know how to say them, but look into my eyes and you will know.